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cut the kid

by phoneswithchords

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1.
cut the kid 02:30
Cut the kid with the boxtop Cut the vein no sound For a light in the room There was no one around On the streets turned out To a world coming down Left it all for a new high Latchkey never found Cut the kid with the wide eye Cut the kid no one sees the curbside diamond the kid nobody believes Keep the cracks for the orphans, ghosts of some American dream Another chance you’ll never find it when you cut all they do is bleed
2.
2nd son 03:53
Heart in your own two hands same t-shirt, same stupid band cut the carport in brand new Vans just some kid with a latchkey secret screaming Borrowed my brother’s jeans when the dust started settling filled the holes out with jagged knees cutting corners inside my only pipe dream I was the weaker one caught the curse of the 2nd son such a hard war I never won swore the first chance I’d take and run Heart buried underneath the cold face of apathy gave the fools what they came to see stacking laughs up so high to hide the bleeding Slept in his old room hall of relics, an empty tomb lonely trophies without a clue keeping dust just over the truth I was the weaker one caught the curse of the 2nd son such a lost cause, a lonely front knew it was time for me to run It’s hard to be gutter punk stuck in shittown suburbia held my thumb out for the trucks left it all just the way it was
3.
held out 03:52
Let it rush straight to my head for a second thought I was dead took a while to find my breath again never fell, fell so hard for a girl now I got these scars she don’t want me like she did I held out for the longest time She never changed her mind And I won’t change mine Let it bleed like I knew it would all my friends never understood what I ever saw in her But I could see in those eyes a truth there behind the lies something worth fighting for I’ve still got so much love to give it really didn’t have to end Let it go I tell myself put your heart on the shelf try to forget about her I try, but it never lasts just can’t get passed the past I wonder if I’ll ever will
4.
void 05:29
I waited for nothing turns out that something is too much of a crowd wandered the streets cold caught in a dream awake and asleep my eyes were two storm clouds every stop sign a voice from the void why? I pay it no mind there’s not enough time I’m just the wild wound you’ve had since you were 2 the reason you run before the damage is done I’m just the price you pay the toll road on the way some town in New Jersey they won’t let you pump your own gas got my Mom on the phone she asked me what’s wrong I tried to think I said “Momma, I really don’t know. I’m still a kid at the skatepark trying to toughen my tender heart in a Black Flag t-shirt.... Does Dad still call me a fag?"
5.
after school she drove to her brother’s house he was at work we found the key under the cactus flower I still wasn’t sure she told me to wait outside I stood on the porch sweating with the cicada choir when she emerged she was holding a guitar said “He never plays it…he won’t even know it’s gone.” Some kind of Stratocaster a no name, knock off I remember it was my birthday I felt her beating heart Took it straight upstairs I already had a little amp I plugged it in I drove by her old house today her room was in the yard just ashes and cinder block last I heard she moved to Florida and married a volunteer fireman I wish I still had that guitar
6.
Back to biting my nails down to the quick hand me those pills They’re never mine, but what the hell I take them anyway Shaky hands I try to keep them at my side pretend I’m clean it never works it’s not hard to see I’ve made some kind of trade What’s the use, the real use? The purpose of all pain? You are what you do with it I heard someone say Hand me down something better heard some kids faintly whisper In a dream, but when I woke I didn’t wanna change Sky was burnt orange for an hour golden then a Summer shower I’d have enough for my habit if they gave out dimes for my mistakes TV in the early morning before the white noise blared its warning Heard a voice say “Dial this # and it will all go away.” 1-800-something something I was tempted, but I couldn’t desperation always calling like a bill collector she’s never fazed
7.
I hear it all the time there’s nothing to do in this town that don’t involve a bottle or some pills you were just watching some live feed from New York City just to see the streets with people and wish you were there let’s go to goodwill after work I just got paid I’ll buy you a shirt it’s still name brand though it’s a hand me down we don’t have to waste away We don’t have to move to L.A. It sounds crazy, but we could stay And make it work here Yes, you’re right We’re not like the parking lot boys With their big heads And their even bigger toys Maybe they pay the insurance And maybe even the note They make vaping look so serious Like it’s an olympic sport Hey, do you want kids? Me either. I still feel like one You know the houses are really cheap here and I really wanna leave still I’m scared if I go I’ll never come back and if I stay I’ll end up at the dog food plant
8.
red devil 05:47
I let you out under the green awning you never want me to park and walk you in I show back up just to find you waiting half-smiling you ask for a cigarette I’m too young to be your Momma you’re not my Daddy at least not by blood you told me once in your right mind, lucid somewhere near Houston you’ve got a son It feels like a bad investment I always look, but never see a return lost count on the couch I’m losing worn a path to your bedroom just to watch you crash and burn I feel stuck in a bad movie and if I had a bow I’d tie it up but the plot never thins and we know how it ends this story is shit i’ve had enough I used to pray just like they told me I used to always be able to find the Amen now I talk to the popcorn ceiling, “Fuck you God. I can’t lose him….. God, I can’t lose him.”
9.
designated 05:13
Stole her car and her pills taped a note to the tv said “I’m sorry. I can’t live like this anymore.” Drove as far as I could far as the tank would take me Left it parked at a church another note with the keys on the dash “Give it to somebody who needs it. Give it to somebody who needs.” Put my thumb out in the air called myself Sal Paradise lost and looking out for love couldn’t find it anywhere Instead a man picked me up 18 wheels on his truck He said “I’m going far as Freeport.” I said “that sounds right to me.” I took the battery from my cell phone threw them both out the window He let me out at the bus stop just like in the movies on the corner was a cop I could tell he was angry I felt just the same lost soul born to bury underneath a shy smile every grief like a body Find the seam (you won’t) Search for the clearest cut(you won’t) Mine for a vein to start(you won’t) Drill straight for the heart it happened eventually/they saw the back of my ID designated for the day as if just to say “Give them to somebody who needs them. Give them to somebody who needs. Give them to somebody who needs them…that is no longer me.”
10.
Is there a cure behind the clouds? Is there a circle coming around? Some source no one sees? A secret caught tween you and me? Where’d you get that heart attack? That giant target on your back? Hurt looks deeper than a scratch just too weak to lift the latch I was gonna ask you after the storm blew through Never thought it would take you away from me Here’s a dream no one dreams here’s a bruise that never bleeds Here’s a hand you’ll never hold fly you high then crash you low Was it really your own idea? Just too much there to feel? Something must have scared you still to make you take that desperate deal Is your head still attached? Is your heart still on attack? Are you finding what you lacked? I didn’t mean to turn my back
11.
Cut the kid with the boxtop Cut the vein no sound For a light in the room There was no one around On the streets turned out To a world coming down Left it all for a new high Latchkey never found Cut the kid with the wide eye Cut the kid no one sees the curbside diamond the kid nobody believes Keep the cracks for the orphans, ghosts of some American dream Another chance you’ll never find it when you cut all they do is bleed

about

phoneswithchords is me, Arthur Alligood.

All songs recorded in my living room on a really old Mac computer with a cheap microphone and an even cheaper parlor guitar named Blanche.

A huge thanks to my wife Tiffany for giving me the space and time to record these songs and always believing in me. Thank you Elsie, Lucy, and Corban for keeping me on my toes and putting up with my dumb jokes. Thank you to Angie of Z Tapes for being so supportive and helping me get this music out there. Thank you Casey for being awesome to work with. Thank you Eric for giving me feedback on early mixes. Thank you Nick for always encouraging me and championing my music. Thank you Universe for another chance to chase something new. And thank you. Yeh, you. For listening and buying this tape. Means a lot.

credits

released May 13, 2022

All music and lyrics by phoneswithchords.
Album mixed and mastered (sort of) by me as well.

ZT213 - Z Tapes Records - 2022

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phoneswithchords Tennessee

"If time is a fast car then who cut the brakes?"

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